School Stress!

So school kinda stresses me out a lot. In order to go to school out here I have to have a car, get a job so I can buy gas and books. How am I going to do all of that in the then 4 weeks before school starts? Stress out!
So what do I do but call my mom cause mom makes everything better, not. I called mom-not really expecting anything except for her to let me vent- I told her I still didn't have things worked out with school and didn't know what I was going to do. I just had to trust God on this one. Her response wasn't quite what I expected. She told me that when things didn't work out here I could come back to Vermont, there was a room there for me. I could drive her car to and from school and just live there. She told me to call her and let her know when it didn't work out. By this time I was a little upset and just said when it works out I'll call you.
Less than an hour after I got off the phone with her I got a text from one of my favorite people, ever! He wanted to know if I had a job, a car and how I was set with books for school. My response: No job, no car, no books. Just trusting God on this one. He said that he was in a place financially that he could and wanted to help me with books. I told him I couldn't let him do that and he said let me do it, I kinda owe HIM a favor or two. It made me think, how many times have I heard the sermon about not stealing someone's blessing. So I decided to let him do it. That took care of the books, now what about the car and job?
That same afternoon Tina, my step mom found a 86' F250 here in town and for cheap. I thought something must be wrong with it, but we went and looked anyway. Well she drove it home that afternoon and I am now driving her car because school is about 20 miles from here and the car's better on gas.
God has just blessed me beyond words this past week! I saw Richard off Saturday morning. It was kinda hard to say bye. I texted him once he was in Denver and just said thank you for coming and for everything he did and told him how sad I was that he was gone. He replied, don't worry, God willing I'll be back next summer.
I love that attitude: God willing I can do anything.

So I gave up on this whole blogging every day thing because my computer went ka-put! So I'm at dad's for the weekend so I have a computer. Anyway, the latest up-date, it's snowing; that's right it's June 7th and it's snowing!
And dad and Tina have a missionary staying with them. He's really quite, but a great kid that really loves God. My goal for the weekend was to make him talk before I left this afternoon. Last night I went into his room and we talked for an hour and a half. (He's an engineering major, so most of it went over my head, but I just listened.) Anyway, that's all for now, time to get ready for Church!

Day 2

So I kinda skipped day one here. Well I didn't do it intentionally, but I didn't know I would be writing every day so anyway. I'll catch you up thus far in my adventure.
Yesterday:
Ride here- Slept, woke up and saw a pack of wolves.
Check-in- Went fine, long, but okay.
Orientation- told us to only lay down if a bear physically touched you.
Hike- Went to Norris Geyser Basin and walked with some girls- great fun
Ride home from Norris- Saw a bear on the side of the road
Dinner- I was going to dinner with the same girls I went to Norris with and we walked around the corner to the cafeteria and laying in front of the door was a HUGE buffalo!
Today:
Training- Super long! From 8:30-4:40 with some breaks in there somewhere
Hike- We heard about a suspension bridge that we thought would be fun to go on so we went where the ladies told us to go... or so we thought. They said it would take us an hour at the most. It took us an hour to find the bridge then 1.5 hours to get back with some guy bringing us up the rest of the way!
Now-Thinking sleep would be wonderful but might go to a fire with some girls... maybe...

Birthday Woe's

It really hit home today that I was with family, but not the family I know. I realize that doesn't make a lot of sense, but it's true. I'm with my dad, step-mom and step-brother, but I don't really know them. I feel like I'm an intruder on their little happy life. I talked to my grandma earlier and she just kept asking when I would be home and I couldn't answer her so I avoided the question by telling her that I had to work and school. I really wish I could have just said I'll be there in a few hours. Then Braden, my youngest nephew, called me tonight. I miss him so much! He reminds me so much of my grandma-he asked me several times if I could just come home for my birthday.

He did get it that I was far away and I would have to fly to get home. So he continued to ask me what I wanted for my birthday; when I didn't give him an answer I asked him for a suggestion. So innocently he says, "Maybe a flashlight" and after thinking for a moment he went on, "You'll need one when you go camping." Then he went on to tell me how "fancy" the house was. I miss those kids so much!

Also today I got three birthday cards in the mail; one from grandma, one from mom, and one from Brooke. Grandma's was simple as it has been the past few years as she gets worse. Mom's was sweet, just saying how proud she was of me and how much she loved me. Brooke's was wonderful, it was a sister's birthday card. She wrote inside some of the memories that we had growing up. One of the last things she wrote was, "I wish you were here with us celebrating your Birthday. But I know that no matter where you are, you are always in my heart. I hope you have the best Birthday ever!"

So all that said, the point of all my rambling-I miss my family! And I'm really good at this self pity thing, but God has shown me throughout the day that this is His day. Dad will be working and there's some stuff going on at Church all day so pretty much I'll be spending the day with some people I don't know. And I just want to be selfish and have the day with my family and do what I want to do, but God has other plans for my day. Yes it is my birthday, but these random people that I am going to hang out really love Jesus and are working for His glory! And some that we are going to love on just need Jesus in their lives. If I really think about it, I can't think of a better way to spend my birthday--Thanking God for the life he has given me.

Family

Family, what is it? Yeah, we all have a mom and a dad, siblings...

But all growing up I thought I had the worse mom ever and a father that didn't love me and an amazing man that could have been my dad.

My mom loved me and I knew it, although she had a hard time showing it. The lack of rules and structure didn't help show that she cared at all; I was allowed to go out and party and stay out all night with friends whenever I wanted to. I'm sure she cared, but she sure had a funny way of showing it.

I had a wonderful man in my life growing up that I would gladly call my dad any day. Rick is amazing! I will never forget being little enough that he would pick me up and spin me around, and when we would dance, I would stand on his feet in the front yard. My nose would randomly bleed at school and when it wouldn't stop for twenty minutes Mrs. Nudd would send me home. One time no one was home and Rick came and got me! He knew just what I needed, natural yeast on popcorn and a movie!

Dad wasn't in my life until I was 16. I didn't really know he existed until I was 12. My family that I grew up with had nothing nice to say about him at all, but yet I still wanted to meet him and judge for myself. I came to Arkansas and met him, now he's my best friend.

So even though mom was terrible growing up, she cares so much, yet not at all. She will tell the world that she cares, and she must right, she's a mom she has to. My sister moves in and she moves out; has she given up on being a mom? Is that even legal?

Rick...well he's still there, and although we don't talk nearly as much as we used to, I love him none the less. We talked today for only about ten minutes, but I feel like we talked for hours! I love him so much and seeing him struggle has hurt, a lot, especially because he is one of the few people that has actually told me he was proud of me for going to college.

My daddy is the best! Yeah, we've had some though times, but we always get though them together. From the day I met dad he has always been there for me and supported me in everything I do. I tell dad everything, even if he doesn't want to know. He just listens, sometimes offers advice, sometimes just tells me he loves me, and sometimes is just quite. As long as I know he's listening he doesn't have to respond, just knowing he's listening means more than anything to me!

So all that rambling done--as dysfunctional as my family is I love them all and wouldn't trade them for the world!

The End

As I think about this year coming to an end I can't help but be sad. It's been a crazy year filled with learning and friendships and tears. It's been a year full of so much mixed emotions. Although I cried a lot, the laughter outweighs it all. God had such amazing plans for my life and even though I couldn't see them at the beginning, they couldn't be more clear now!

I have made some of the best friends I could have ever dreamed of here. Shelly has taught me so much about myself and God. I know that if I ever need anything I can turn to her. I realized that I had good friends back home, but now I have true friends; people that completely understand me. I have realized that I wouldn't have made it though the year without her! It kills me that I'm the one that makes things better and now she cries because I'm leaving; what am I supposed to do to make this better? I'm the one making it worse. Shelly, you have made such a difference in my life! I couldn't have asked God for a better friend this year!

To everyone reading this, I don't want you to think that the only thing God has done for me this year was give me a friend like Shelly. I have been given many more friends and God has revealed Himself to me through and through.

I volunteered my Monday and Tuesday nights at New Life Ranch mentoring kids and telling them about God. At first I felt like I was not fit at all for this position until I realized it wasn't me at all; it was God working though me. I was just a loving, tangible face for those kids.

God is Good! He has done so much for me this year and what have I done for Him? Nothing in comparison to what I could have done; what I should have done.
Psalm 136:2 "Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures forever."

God in my Life

Tonight before Kairos I walked to a cafe with Jennifer Harding, the college pastor's wife. We talked about how I was going to Wyoming and she asked if I had prayed about it. And me being me, trying to run my life, I haven't. So I told her and she got a kinda shocked look on her face and said, you never move if God isn't in it.

It made me think, a lot, and pray, and think some more. God put me here for a reason; He had a plan for my life. Does His plan involve me moving to Wyoming? Or is this one of those things that I decided I'm little miss independent and I can run my own life? This should be one of those times when I run to God; I'm lost in this world without Him, but yet I run to the only man in my life that truly loves me, my daddy. But am I running there because I have nowhere else to turn, or am I running there because God want me to be there?

I'm so confused right now. I have no idea what I'm doing in my life. I just know I need to fill it with God before I try to fill it with anything else.

While Matthew was speaking he said that you need to get the first M accomplished before you can move on to the second, let alone the third.
1. Master
2. Mission
3. Mate

I'm still stuck on Master, I don't feel like I understand Him well enough to move onto my mission in life, let alone mate.

This past week God has just shown me though relationships that I can't do this on my own. I tried to be miss independent again with a relationship and it failed me, big time.

So I hope in the future you will be seeing less of me and more of God!

For my New Testament class we have to read through the entire New Testament; me, being a slacker, have only finished one book :(
But that was still a HUGE accomplishment for me. I've read bits and pieces of chapters of the Bible, but I've never read a complete chapter! My goal today: finish Luke!

My Savior My God

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands One who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me this I read
And in my heart I find a need
For Him to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, my Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, my God He is
My God He's always gonna be

Yes, living, dying let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on High
And come for sinful men to die
You count it strange so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, My God He is, My God He's always gonna be!

By: Aaron Shust