It really hit home today that I was with family, but not the family I know. I realize that doesn't make a lot of sense, but it's true. I'm with my dad, step-mom and step-brother, but I don't really know them. I feel like I'm an intruder on their little happy life. I talked to my grandma earlier and she just kept asking when I would be home and I couldn't answer her so I avoided the question by telling her that I had to work and school. I really wish I could have just said I'll be there in a few hours. Then Braden, my youngest nephew, called me tonight. I miss him so much! He reminds me so much of my grandma-he asked me several times if I could just come home for my birthday.
He did get it that I was far away and I would have to fly to get home. So he continued to ask me what I wanted for my birthday; when I didn't give him an answer I asked him for a suggestion. So innocently he says, "Maybe a flashlight" and after thinking for a moment he went on, "You'll need one when you go camping." Then he went on to tell me how "fancy" the house was. I miss those kids so much!
Also today I got three birthday cards in the mail; one from grandma, one from mom, and one from Brooke. Grandma's was simple as it has been the past few years as she gets worse. Mom's was sweet, just saying how proud she was of me and how much she loved me. Brooke's was wonderful, it was a sister's birthday card. She wrote inside some of the memories that we had growing up. One of the last things she wrote was, "I wish you were here with us celebrating your Birthday. But I know that no matter where you are, you are always in my heart. I hope you have the best Birthday ever!"
So all that said, the point of all my rambling-I miss my family! And I'm really good at this self pity thing, but God has shown me throughout the day that this is His day. Dad will be working and there's some stuff going on at Church all day so pretty much I'll be spending the day with some people I don't know. And I just want to be selfish and have the day with my family and do what I want to do, but God has other plans for my day. Yes it is my birthday, but these random people that I am going to hang out really love Jesus and are working for His glory! And some that we are going to love on just need Jesus in their lives. If I really think about it, I can't think of a better way to spend my birthday--Thanking God for the life he has given me.
