Where I Stand Now.

I wasn't raised in your typical home. My mom and dad got divorced before I was born and my mom moved to Vermont. Everyone asks me what happened between my parents, I just tell them I have a sister that is five months older than me. (We have different moms).

Growing up with mom has, to say the least, been an adventure. The first memories I have of any religion are those that took place in the Kingdom Hall. (Yes we were Jehovah Witnesses). I saw WERE because at the age of six or so my mom was ex-communicated. Apparently being a lesbian isn't okay with them.

The Jehovah experience, and it was an experience, was crazy. All my cousins would have birthday parties and I wasn't allowed to go because we didn't celebrate our birthdays. Mom would quiz me on when my birthday was because people thought because we didn't celebrate it that we didn't know when it was.

Anyway, after we weren't allowed to do the Jehovah thing my family kinda fell apart. My sister turned to drugs and alcohol, and my brothers kept to themselves. Eventually Brooke dropped out of school and was kicked out of the house. During this time I started attending a Catholic church with my grandma, it was mostly just because my little cousin was, and we did everything together. I don't know if it was because I didn't understand what was going on or what, but I didn't get into the church there.

It wasn't until I was sixteen and came to visit dad for the first time that I found God. We attended a small church called Sugar Hill every Sunday. God really spoke to me through the pastor. This was also the time that my dad went into the hospital and I saw God's work. The doctors had no idea what was wrong with my dad, but the church community prayed for him and God healed him. You would never know anything was wrong with him now.



God has continued to work in my life and my families. Although my mom, two brother, and three sister are not believers, God has still worked in their lives. Most recently my oldest sister (the one that did drugs and drank, she's clean now) won a custody battle. She currently has custody of her three boys. And although it was a hard time for our family, God worked in so many ways. Brooke could have lost the boys, her home, and everything she owned, but God wouldn't allow that. She did lose her apartment, but now is living with my mom and taking care of my grandma who has Alzheimer's. Her three boys are enrolled in school and daycare and doing great!

My oldest brother, Toby, has a beautiful girlfriend, Allison. They just recently moved in together in South Portland, Maine.

Levi...Well... I don't really know what to say about him. He's twenty and thinks he is insensible. God has given him a lot of chances. God has also blessed him with a good job and a mother that loves him enough to let him still live at home.

And for the mom, she's amazing. She raised four children on her own. And although she is a lesbian God has blessed her too. She was disabled for many year and unable to work, but in these past few years she has got back on her feet.

God has worked in some pretty amazing ways in my life too. I thought that the only reason I was coming to John Brown was to close to my father, but God showed me that He had other plans for me when dad moved in September. By being here I have grown so much closer to Him and made some amazing, Godly, friends.

They tell me I have to tell my life story...

My friends told me that we all had to make a blog and the first post had to be all about my life so instead of writing a lot I figured I would use my final narrative for my freshman English class...


“We’re calling to inform you…” I had heard that familiar voice before; it was Rosa Christians, my admissions counselor from John Brown University. A flood of negative thoughts filled my head. Was she calling to tell me I had been wait-listed or even worse, rejected? “You have been accepted into John Brown University!” My heart was racing. I pressed the flash button, knowing it would give me a dial tone faster than hanging up and picking up again. Dad was the first on my list. I had only known this man I call my father for just over a year, but yet he was first on my list to hear the good news.

It all started when I was twelve. I had walked home from school and got the mail like any other day. I set the stack of letter on the table and they scattered. I noticed that there was a letter from a Robert Lacey. Who was this man? He has my last name! I had never heard of such a man before, so I asked my sister. She told me he was my father. I thought I didn’t have a dad? Where did he come from? We had never talked about this man in my house before. Why is his name all of a sudden showing up on my table? I began to write him letters; I wrote and I wrote, they all started the same:

“Dear Dale, or should I call you dad, my name is Amber and I am your daughter.” Finally I wrote a letter that at the age of thirteen I considered good and sent it! Dad and I began to communicate through letters, cards, pictures, and once in a while there was a phone call. We had pretty limited conversation for the next three years.

The summer of 2006 I worked at Camp Cabot, an outdoor adventure camp for middle school aged children. I had just celebrated my sixteenth birthday. I was working and making money and I was legal to drive, all in the same summer! I really wanted to buy a car to be mobile, but I looked at my other options. I could save my money for college, spend it as fast as it came in, buy a car, or go visit dad. I thought back to all of the communication I had had with dad.

Did I really want to meet this man? He hasn’t been there for me all my life, but is this because I didn’t give him that chance? Now was his chance to be there and my chance to meet him. I picked up the phone trembling. I started dialing the calling card and hung up. No, I have to ask him if I can come stay with him! I have to! But I couldn’t seem to dial his number, so I e-mailed him.
Subject: Random Thought.
Dad,

I have been working all summer and have saved up money for a ticket… I want to come visit you, if that’s ok…. Please let me know as soon as possible.
Thanks,
Amber

Every thirty seconds for the next hour I checked my e-mail. Finally the subject line read “Re: Random Thought” What was he going to say? Did he want to be part of my life? Was this going to be a big disappointment? My stomach was in knots. After staring at the list of e-mails I opened it.

Hey Kiddo,
I would love to meet you! Just let me know when and where I can pick you up!
Love Always,
Dad

Good. I had dad convinced; now it was time to work on mom. I knew she wouldn’t be too keen on the idea. Levi, my older brother, had gone to ‘visit’ dad and stayed for almost a year.

I tried so hard to persuade her, “But mom, I’ve lived with you for sixteen year. Can’t I at least go meet dad? It’s only eighteen days.” After thinking on it for a few days, with me continually nagging her, she finally gave in. August 18, 2006 was the day! As the day approached so many emotions were rushing through my head: fear, happiness, apprehension and angst. Not only was I going to meet this man for the first time in my life, I was flying for the first time ever, but that was the least of my worries. What if all those horror stories Brooke told me were true? What if he really will try to cut my knee off if I tell him it hurts? What if I don’t like it? I’ll be stuck there.

Walking towards the baggage claim I saw a tall man in a cowboy hat, boots, and a hanker chief around his neck. I knew from the pictures I had seen that that was my dad. I walked towards him not really acknowledging where I was; I couldn’t help but to still be worried. What am I supposed to do? Do I call him dad, or Dale? Do I hug him, or shake his hand?

I waited sixteen years to meet this man I call dad. I gave up so much to go meet this man. I gave up a car, a college savings, and most recently, living close to my family. I came to John Brown University so that I could live closer to my dad; he was the only reason I had for coming here. I was in school for just over a month when he decided to move to Wyoming. I sacrificed so much for this man and then he leaves. I believe that God brought this man into my life for a reason. And although it seems like a hard way to learn, I think God has a plan for me and it involves me being at John Brown University for college. I am just too stubborn to realize this on my own so He had to use someone that He knew I would love and trust to get me here.